Tech, Travel, and Twang!

Be Great in Their Face

December 11, 2023 Destination Innovate Season 2 Episode 1
Tech, Travel, and Twang!
Be Great in Their Face
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Here's a little secret: the journey to authenticity isn't always an easy one, but oh boy, is it worth it! On our latest episode, we delve into the power of self-expression and self-love with Alethea Crimmins, a social media maven whose unapologetically authentic persona has garnered viral success. Alethea recounts her personal experiences, from overcoming her fear of judgment to fully embracing her true self. She is a living testament to the transformative magic of being completely, unapologetically YOU. Trust us; her passion is infectiously inspiring!

Speaker 1:

Well, hey there, welcome back to Tech Traveling Twain. I'm your host, jen Barbie, with co-host Christian Cruz. Hey, kristen, hello, jen Barbie. We are so super, super excited, so pumped up, so guts and glory, ready to introduce you to our guest of season two, episode one of Tech Traveling Twain, straight from the Jennifer Hudson show. Welcome to Alethea Crimmins, hi.

Speaker 2:

Hello everybody. How are you all?

Speaker 3:

We're good, we are so excited to have you. We are just so excited to be, here. I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 1:

Good, good, I love it. I love it. Yeah, we are really excited for our listeners out there. Alethea will be keynoting at Destacon in January.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'm so honored that you're asking.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. We are so lucky and so blessed to have you, but I think we have to kick it off with the question that probably most people wonder when they see you is girl, how did you become viral?

Speaker 2:

I became viral by just being my authentic, unapologetic self, which everybody told me that I should not be. But I decided that I was going to try something different, because I never was myself. I was always a chameleon, trying to fit in with everything and everybody. So I was like, okay, you know what, let me try something different. Let me just be me. Let me just be me, yes, yes. And I put myself out there the way. And anybody who knows me like, knows me for real, knows that everything you see online is me in real life, like I am loud in real life, I am outspoken in real life, I am bubbly and energetic in real life. So what you see is really me. It's not an act like people have seen me cry and all kind of stuff. So, yes, I love that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that is a big key to why it comes through, that you're so genuine and this is just who you are and I think a lot of people and even you know in professional, in the industry perspective of it are afraid to even become their authentic selves and their roles and their other pieces, and I think that's really interesting. How did you get over yourself or your nerves Like how'd you get there?

Speaker 2:

A little more effect, like I am, to a certain extent, a little shy, but and that's why I do most of my videos in my car because I'm by myself and there's nobody else, there is just me and my camera. So it made me feel comfortable because I couldn't see anybody else, so it was just me and I really felt like, because when you look at the camera, you have to look at yourself. So I actually felt like I was giving myself a pep talk. So I just that. That's how I got over my over me and like over thinking, because I'm an overthinker, like I over analyze everything. Oh girl, so you really, girl.

Speaker 3:

I hear you on that, yeah, it was it was.

Speaker 2:

It was hard at first because this was like, like I said, this was something new. Being myself was something new, because every time that I would be, I would get over you. You're too much, you're too loud, could you? Could you just turn it down? You just not. So it made me not want to be me. So I was, I was. I was scared of shit. Like I was scared. Like how are people going to receive me? Because I, because I didn't even know how to be me. I think a lot of women feel that way in a lot of different places.

Speaker 1:

You're told to be this, but not too much. It's interesting. Yeah, I mean. I think, that's that plagues, and especially plagues, are listeners in our industry, especially if you're in tech. as a woman like you have to play a different role, and when you just listen to the music you know, you know, you know, you know, you know it makes a big difference and I love that authenticity piece of it because I mean, obviously it's touched so many people to what the kind of content you put out and you know it's just such a good, good story. I love it.

Speaker 2:

Little on fact, I don't. So people say I just, I just love when you, when you, yell at me so little on fact, I don't mean to yell, but I'm so passionate about what I do and I'm so passionate about helping other people that when I start, the passion just takes over and it's just like and you know that, and I don't mean to yell, but that's just my passion, that's, that's just how much I want you to be the best version of yourself. So it's like look, we're going to do it, we're going to do it and that's just how we're going to cross.

Speaker 3:

Yes, but it comes across as passion, like I don't. I don't see it as yelling at all or like intimidating or too much at all. It's like it gives you that energy, it it comes through your content, like you can feel the energy that you're putting out, so that I think is what is what's amazing, and I think what you said in the beginning that that chameleon status is so prevalent. Like so many of us try to be who we need to be based on who we're in front of, or where we are physically or mentally, or where we are in our careers, and it's just it's a huge step to get out, to come out of that chameleon status and just be your, your pure self. You know, just to sit with yourself. Even if you're sitting in your car, you know, and doing this content, you are still looking at you, you're still having to be with yourself, which sometimes can even be intimidating. So I think it is.

Speaker 2:

It is. Oh yeah, because I was. I was always told since I was young. I was always told what I should be. I was always told what this is, how you should be, this you. You shouldn't be like this. I was told because I stutter I always have is getting. It's gotten much better now but I was told that I shouldn't talk too much because I stutter Like you shouldn't. You shouldn't talk too much, like teachers would, literally like I would know the answer, because when, when they would do like reading out loud, they would skip me because I stutter and it made me feel some type of way like God, like you only want me to talk because my stutter was horrible, and like my teachers would, would skip over me and go to somebody else because they didn't want me to speak.

Speaker 1:

But now that was really hard. How lucky are your students like. I wish you had been my kindergarten teacher because, honestly, like, what better to like? Take it that way. It's so funny that's you know. You and I have talked once before after I fangirl so hard but something we have in common I had a terrible list and I kind of still do that a really bad list. And when I was in school I'm a little bit older than both of you guys they made you go to speech therapy during certain classes. So how many hours I spent holding a peppermint to the roof of my mouth. Listen.

Speaker 2:

Listen, yes, I can relate. Oh, I can relate because I was in speech therapy Cheese for forever. Yes, it helps. But it also made other people bully me Right, Like, oh, like she has something wrong. It's almost like I had like a disease and people will find anything to make fun of you about. And I was tease. I was bullied a lot, a lot, a lot. So much so that I was in a shell for a very long time. And so I was like I had this mentality Well, if I can't beat them, well let me just try to be like them, and then maybe they would like me. And so I turned into my addiction, became people pleasing. That became my addiction. Let me do whatever it takes to make you like me, because then maybe you wouldn't tease me. If I was more like you, then maybe you would leave me alone. Well, that didn't work either.

Speaker 3:

So and that's where some of that overthinking comes in, because that's a lot of processing to get to that standpoint of who do I need to be for this person? And how are they going? How is this person going to proceed me? Or how am I going to check that box for that next person? That's where that overthinking begins to just accumulate in our lives. Yes, it does.

Speaker 2:

It's crazy, Even in my family, like I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm different than everybody else and different was always like. You shouldn't be different, you should be like us.

Speaker 1:

And I wasn't Definitely Raised by the Southern Bell persona thing. My grandmother told my husband before she passed she was like this one right here, you can tell her whatever you want and she'll listen, but then she's going to do whatever the hell she wants to do. So I was kind of like you know, but I think that's what the world asks for now. Maybe we're just ahead of Because you know the younger people who are working and having to do these sort of things and working with their bosses. They're not looking to put on a mask anymore, like that's just not necessary. So I love that you're paving the way in your videos and your motivational speaking and what you're putting out in the world to let the next generation know it is absolutely imperative to be yourself.

Speaker 2:

It is. It really is Like if you want to dress like them and be like them and act like them, go ahead, but then nobody will know how unique you are, nobody will know how special you are. Nobody will know that because you're so busy being everybody else and take it from somebody who knows that nobody really knows the real you, the amazingness that is you, and people need to know. It's okay to be weird. It's okay to be different. It's okay to be smarter than other people. It's okay I was a nerd and just listen. It is.

Speaker 3:

And I think that's what people need to hear. They need to hear it's okay Be yourself.

Speaker 1:

It's okay, it's permission. I mean, that's the other it does.

Speaker 3:

I mean, it's rough to have to come to terms with that, but I feel like there's a generation that needs permission. They need to feel like they're amongst others to be able to do what they feel like they need to do or what they should do, rather than what they've been accustomed to doing. Yeah, because of society or because of their environment. So, yeah, I mean, jennifer and I were born and raised in Texas and so we coming up through our careers, I think one of the things that we always struggled with was our accent, like our Southern. Just, we sound like a couple of us. I love it. I mean it was a lot and we both struggled. I mean, I know, I I'd like to hear myself on a conference call or on my own voice. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't. You were like me. You were like me. I'm just like, do the same thing. And we had fun of each other. And then we'd like try to alter a little bit and get a little more. You know, we put our tall center voices on and we'd be on the phone and then we'd get off and the twang would get hit. You know, and we, we embraced it, like we literally added it to our podcast.

Speaker 2:

You, know, and I love us. Oh, I love you. We're not apologizing anymore. Please don't. And I just love how you said that people need permission Like we need to have permission, but what people need to understand is that you don't need permission from other people. You need to get permission from yourself to be yourself. Like I had to really allow myself to be me, and that's something that's very hard to allow yourself to give yourself permission to be yourself and nobody else.

Speaker 1:

That's like you bravest, though that's the top of the bravest of prey, but I love about what you put out and why I share your content with literally everybody I know is give us permission. It's okay If the latest says it. We're good, like I got permission, yes.

Speaker 2:

And that's what especially women, and that's why I go so hard for us. I go so hard for us because people do not understand that we are some. We are some super heroes in our own right, every single day, the things that women have to endure, and they keep asking like we are the weaker species. No, so I go hard for us because I feel like women need to empower other women, because if we don't have our backs, and who will? Right?

Speaker 1:

I want to double down on what you said there, because for our tourism industry, women, like women, make up 70% of the tourism industry, but the executives of women only make up 5%. Because we're asking permission and again not like against the other sex, but like we have to give ourselves permission and then we can get out there.

Speaker 2:

Right, and it's it's. It's. It's hard because it took me years, years, and when I first begin to put this content out, I was like, okay, aletheia, just be you, just it's just. It's just you in this car is just you. So just be yourself, don't worry about the judgment, don't worry about what anybody says, just be you. And I want to put out my first video of me being me. I didn't look at the comments, or like two, three days I kept hearing it. I was like no.

Speaker 3:

Not.

Speaker 2:

It was extremely because I was like nope. Then, when I finally did end my overthinking mind, I just knew that somebody would say oh well, you're too this and you're too that and we don't wanna hear that and we don't like that. But it was the total opposite. It was the total opposite. It was thank you so much. I needed that. Oh my gosh, this is just what I needed. You just helped me get through my day. Where have you been all my life? Like? I was like oh my God. And then something clicked for me. I was like I can be for other people what nobody was for me. That's amazing. Like I can be that person. And that's where this all started.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the world was just waiting on you. Now, you didn't have to know. The world was like are you gonna come? Show up? Show up. That was God telling you something. That's amazing.

Speaker 2:

I think I was waiting on me. Yeah, I think I was waiting on me and to say that out loud. Yeah, I think I was waiting on me to show up. That's such a powerful.

Speaker 1:

I know.

Speaker 2:

Like I'm cool.

Speaker 3:

I'm telling you, it's ups.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because sometimes we don't realize how much we need ourselves. So we're just waiting on us to like. The real, genuine us is waiting to bust out because we've been keeping it under wraps for so long. And it's like in every time we want to, somebody comes and says mm-mm, mm-mm. And that's what I love about teaching children they're so genuine, they don't care. They do not care what you think about them, they don't give a damn. It's like I'm going to be me and a lot of my content actually comes from my class. A lot of my content comes from watching them, cause I had a student in my class, this little girl. When I tell you there was nobody in the world that can tell her that she wasn't the baddest little chick in the whole listing, and every day she could have the same shoes on the same hairstyle Missy, like my hair, you think I'm pretty. Because I'm pretty? Huh, because I'm pretty, and I love that. She thought so highly of herself. But then it made me sad, because it dawned on me that she's going to feel like this until somebody tells her that she's not what she thinks she is. And it clicked in my head that that was my issue, cause we are not born thinking negatively of ourselves. We're not born that way. I tell people all the time and people think I'm lying. But I'm telling you I was a child so I didn't know. I didn't know I was fat. And tell somebody to tell me I was, I was like oh what? And the way that we said it made it sound like a bad thing In my mind, cause we went to church all the time. I thought that God made people in different shapes, fives and colors, so God just gave me a little bit extra and I was fine with it. And so somebody said, mm-mm, that's not pretty, that's not mm-mm. And so it made me second guessing myself and I was like and it came from family members they were like you be so much prettier. If you're so way, you be so much prettier. And that resonated as well. I'm not pretty right now. Is what you're saying.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely Same family members. Jennifer, you have such a pretty face, if you just yes, I got that all the time.

Speaker 2:

I got the. Oh, I got it.

Speaker 1:

You have such a pretty face.

Speaker 2:

if you only and so it's like you don't hear. It's like you hear it, but all you hear is you're not pretty because you're not skinny. So in high school and in college I did all the things that people do to get skinny. I hadn't eaten this order for quite some time Cause I was like, yeah, this is what I need to do, cause people say I'm ugly, so I need to not be ugly, so let me get some small, so I can not be ugly. That was my mindset. That was where and people don't realize that you can just, it doesn't matter how you look, because Sexy has no size chart. No, it doesn't have a size chart, it doesn't have an age chart. Sexy is sexy, period. If you wake up every morning and think to yourself, god damn it, I am a bad bitch, then you are Right, then you are. Doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, because men can be a bad bitch too, because a bad bitch is an attitude, yeah, it's an attitude. So if you think bad bitch, you are bad bitch. Period, that's just what it is. Yeah, and that changed my attitude. It changed everything about me, because now my response is oh, will you be so much more attractive If you lost weight. First of all, I'm not trying to attract you. So okay, I'm trying to attract you.

Speaker 3:

Hello, so I'm. It's their perception of what, of what they think you should look like, but everyone's perception is that for it. Everyone's idea of what looks good or is skinny or is not, or is sexy or is not, is different, so your opinion is just that, someone's opinion, and they as a young person yeah yeah, and as a young person, you don't understand that, like you're just absorbing what people are telling you and you're You're taking all that internally and trying to figure out who you are and who you need to be like it. The older we get, I think, the more we realize how much of those just a quick sentence, a quick comment, a certain glance, a certain thought affected us so much as young women Like that we, we just really didn't realize the effects of that on us a lot, a lot, a lot.

Speaker 2:

And that's why I try to be the voice that you hear, so that when you hear my voice, it becomes yours. It becomes yours. And that's why I ask you to say things with me, or finish my Sentence and say it out loud, don't just say it in your head. Say it out loud, because the reason that we feel this way about ourselves is because we heard it over and over and over again. So now we have to speak it so you can hear yourself saying I am enough, saying I am enough, I am beautiful. And if you hear it out of your mouth, in your words, eventually you're going to start to Believe it. I told you the minute that I saw both of you on this screen that I thought that you were gorgeous, and I can tell you that 10 times a day. But if, when you look in the mirror, you don't see it, it doesn't matter what I say, because you don't see it Right? But if I, but if I tell you to tell yourself you are gorgeous, and if you say that every day for two whole weeks, I promise you that you're going to start to change how you feel about yourself.

Speaker 1:

And I love that inner narrative psychology you're talking about too, because If you think about it, even in the business aspect of things, when you know you get into anything, maybe you're younger, maybe you're older and don't think you can do it, like there's you have this Internal or external saying you have to be this or you have to be that. And I think especially, especially the tourism industry, because it's such a fun and open industry, you can really do what you want. But I've heard you know destinations Who've held down their social media managers because no, no, you're just good at social media, don't go to vp of conventions or don't drive or something. That's your pocket. So I think it translates and we act as professionals, like we never had a personal life, like we never had trauma, like we never actually had real things happen and that I'd love to break through that thing like there's no earth, it hasn't gone through something, it's not caring.

Speaker 2:

That's. That's actually why I am like I am.

Speaker 3:

Right and I think it's that permission we I feel like our industry gen is one of those industries that still needs that permission. It still feels like it's very hard and this is why this is such an important component for deskticon for us and we had to have we we, when we were planning deskticon, we thought we've got to figure out how to add this personal development, this um, this series of content and discussions that Open that door for that permission. It is okay to be good at your job and be the point person for destination and Do what you need to do and be stellar in your field and whatnot, and still Talk about your, your journey to get there and the things that broke you along the way and what still hurts and what still Prevents you from doing or being the best version of yourself. It's okay to still talk about that. But we, as an industry, I feel like we still struggle to be Collectively authentic with each other. It's not a huge industry that we're in, you know. It seems like it may be Huge but it's really still very small in the realm of business industries and so we still run into the same people and we still try to again our chameleon status. You know, we put our seats on, we put our professional faces on. We look like we have our ship together, you know, but at the end of the day, it would be great To just be able to have those authentic conversations. Yes, you're the same people that you've been talking to for years in your industry. Go, you know what. I'm so glad you said that, because I'm struggling too, like I'm really struggling.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, because you never know. You never know what the other person is going through like Breath of fresh air when you hear somebody else You're like and you can breathe out like you can, like how I can breathe like I have a.

Speaker 3:

I have. Okay, we could talk about this now it's not an elephant in the room anymore. Like we can have a conversation like real conversation.

Speaker 2:

And this is why I tell people and people look at me like what I want you to fail, I want you to fail. Fail Because that's how I feel, because that's how I learned a lot of things, because failure Filled me, failure caught me. Okay, you know what? I don't ever want to feel like this again. So what do I need to do to not Feel like this again? Right, and I had to fail over and over and over again Before I became the best version of myself, because every time you fail, it's election, but you don't truly fail unless you stop. So that failure was my fuel that kept pushing me and pushing me and pushing me, so that I won't ever stop. So I won't ever truly fail. So you fall and feel that feeling, feel, feel how that feels, and you're like you know what? I don't ever want to feel like like this again. So what do I need to do? What is it? And it's an attitude. I tell people to go into any Situation with a already attitude. You walk in there like this is, this is already yours. I went on a job interview I kid you not and they ask you Well, why do you think that we should hire you? And my answer was why would you not hire me? Yeah, why would you not? Because this is what I bring to the table. This is what I bring to the table, so why would you not want me on your team?

Speaker 1:

And they were like that is the best answer we've ever had, I love that Most people are so uncomfortable being their own cheerleader because they make it feel like you know, you have a big ego. I think there's a big misconception between confidence and narcissism, Like that's another thing, it's like throwing around, like you know, if I put myself first and I'm a narcissist and that's I feel like over you, I feel like that whole term has been exploited.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, we have really taken that thing really far. And social media obviously like, has played a part in that too. But I totally like, I totally agree, I think that there is a level of confidence and there's. That's necessary and that's completely separate from, you know, this giant ego or narcissism in general, or whatever you want to point it, but it is. And I think, alika, this is where your content and your vibe really shines through is it is okay, and more than okay, to feel 100% confident in doing whatever you're doing and feeling okay with that. Be confident in your confidence, and I think people feel intimidated by people's confidence because they don't know how to make the terms with their own. They don't know how to be confident with themselves yet.

Speaker 2:

Because women, women cannot be confident, oh God forbid. Oh no, oh God forbid that we think that we are the shit Cause. Oh, cause what? Yeah, and if you're confident about that?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, If you're confident about what you're saying and you put it out there and you expect others to step up to that same level, then you're a bitch right.

Speaker 3:

Like yeah, they're so, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

But I this is a lesson again I learned in my classroom, cause one day we were doing artwork and I was busy helping other kids or whatever, and like when they would do something I'd be like, oh my gosh, good job, I just love how you drew that picture. And there was a little boy and he kept trying to get my attention. But I was busy helping other people cause he wanted that like praise too, and I heard him, but I was also doing other things. So all of a sudden, as loud as he could be, he was like yeah, yeah, he was like what is this? And I realized he was like well, you're not gonna clap for me, you're not gonna praise me, so guess what, I'm gonna do it myself. And he walked around the classroom then, yeah, and he said his name was like yeah, and I was like boy, I'll be down. And that's how. Yeah, cause it's like okay, well, I don't need. And at that moment I was like he didn't need my validation cause he could do it himself. He didn't need me to praise him cause he could do it himself. As women, sometimes we seek validation from other people to make us feel like we are somebody. You don't need that because you already are, you can validate. If you are not a core, you do not need validation Cause you don't need validation. Wait, can I get a quote?

Speaker 3:

somewhere, I'm not sure I didn't share that on it. I need something, something.

Speaker 2:

Cause I don't need that Cause. We can validate ourselves without the help of anybody else, and that is what is so inseminate Like how dare you feel like you are above? No, you must think that I am, and that's why you are intimidated by me. But I will not dim my light in order for you to shine Right. That's not how this works.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's what's gonna be so amazing with our attendees for Destacon Is they're gonna come away having permission for themselves personally and professionally, and I think it really does start personally. Like you know, it's been us making this leap in Destacon to bring personal development in. There is a big risk Because, you know, most of the industry are like okay, learn this, learn that, learn the trend, get your shirt.

Speaker 3:

And they're comfortable in their chameleon status. I want them to get uncomfortable.

Speaker 1:

Uncomfortable and I feel like that is what we're so excited about with you coming. Destacon is uncomfortable and, give them permission, I am so pumped.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and people are probably gonna take some of the things that I say like it's going to go against everything that they've been taught, because as women especially women it's been told to fake it until you make it. I do not, and that's what I used to do, but now I face it until I make it. I face it Right, because you can only be faked for so long. So I have an authentic Louis Vuitton. It is authentic, it's real. If I go by a knockoff that looks exactly like this in a few months, maybe it'll only look like that for so long until it starts to show that it's not real. You can only fake something for so long before the real you has to come out. But if you face it, if you face it, then you don't have to be fake. You face it. You face that problem until you get where you need to be. You overcome that. You face your fear, you face what's holding you back and that's how you make it. That's how you make it. It's not by being fake, it's by being real. Face that fear, face it Head on and that way you can prove to yourself. I did that. I did that, so will you make it. It'll feel so much better when you make it as yourself than when you make it acting like somebody else.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you took us to church.

Speaker 3:

I'm telling you, I'm over here like I didn't really like thinking about my whole life. Right now I'm like I'm free for anything.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I'm so ready for.

Speaker 3:

Jessica and like let's, let's get this going Like this is gonna be, this is, this is Alithea, you are gonna bring such an element, thank you. So this, I mean this is such a necessary conversation on so many levels, but it hits everything that has to do with our industry, everything that has to do with what we do on a daily basis as individuals, as people of teams representing destinations, trying to get people in the door. I mean, we are. It's so funny the way that you think about women, men, whomever, all, everybody okay, within our industry, how we think about things that we have to do for ourselves, individually, as people who represent the marketing organizations behind it, but the, the destinations themselves, and who they have to be to attract the right kind of visitor or the right kind of whatever. It almost feels like we're like opening the kimono, not just for our personal development. But how do we like get out of that chameleon status as destinations? Right, like do how do we get out of that? We have to be this and that and this and that to attract the right kind of person, but being authentic in our places that we market and the places we try to get people to and uncovering and like like this goes beyond even personal development. I feel like this is like a whole. Yeah, we're gonna change some things. Jen, we're gonna change the game okay.

Speaker 2:

Jen, when I first talked to Jen, jen has said something like similar to what you just said and I put a lot of thought into it and it's just like so these big companies, the bigger the company, the smaller you are, the smaller the consumer is, the bigger the company is, because now that they only see you as a number, they want to get you in and out. So when you find, when you go to the doctor, if you go to this, to the ER, where they're just trying to get you in and out, in and out, but when I go to a smaller clinic, now my doctor has a relationship with me. They asked me how I am, they explained things to me. They're not just seeing me as patient number one, one, two, two, five, right, they know me as Alicia. And when Jen said okay, well, you know, there's like bigger companies that are doing the same thing, that's fine, but people are gonna come back to where they feel welcome. People are gonna come back to where they feel respected, where they are heard, because people want to be heard.

Speaker 3:

They want to be heard and that personalized experience.

Speaker 2:

And that's what y'all, that's what makes y'all so different, that makes y'all so different and special. And when you told Jen, when you told me that you left a six, seven figure job, and you said, look, I'm gonna just go out and do my own thing First, like okay, so my face speaks before my mouth does and I was trying to not let it happen. I was like she left a what? But you are the definition of what I speak on. You said, yes, I did leave a six, seven figure job. And I know that. I know that. I know that people said you are crazy. Why, why would you? What is wrong with you? Especially when you was like, okay, I'm gonna leave this and I'm gonna go start my own thing. They were like, girl, you're gonna be back, You're not gonna do it, but I will.

Speaker 1:

This girl's one that believed in me, that came along, ride or die, and it's even it's like bigger than that Like I got sued starting out on my own. It was whatever.

Speaker 3:

Oh, my gosh limit limit, but wait before. Don't put the kudos this way. Your point, this one okay, did it first. She didn't have a partner in crime, she didn't have anybody. That said, okay, we're gonna do this together. I've got your back, you got my back. She went out by herself on her own. I followed behind because I believed in her, but she believed in herself first. She didn't need my validation, she didn't need me to tell girl, I'm gonna do that and then I'll come. She did her own. So this one right here. That's why we are where we are today, because I and I tell her this, I tried to tell her this oh, don't cry. At least I'm pretty sure you might be crying on my own podcast, kristen with that, at least once or twice a year. Maybe I will remind her. Jen, if I, if we weren't doing this together, I don't think I could do it on my own. I don't think I could. I need you to be me and I need you to be us as a together unit. Like I couldn't, I wouldn't have the confidence I wouldn't. Like I feed from her, like she feeds me, my soul, my like confidence, like and sometimes we need, we need that Like I can be confident on my own some days. But sometimes I'm only bringing 20 to 30% of that and I need, I need I feed on hers and someday she feeds on mine and man, we need that. We everybody needs to feel like they've got that support when they can't bring it all themselves.

Speaker 1:

And it's, it's pretty. I think we're revealing really with Destacon, though, is this like tribe of disruptors, of warriors, who have each other's back Because I didn't start because I was confident in myself. I started because I was going to prove somebody wrong.

Speaker 3:

Okay, right up, but she knew she was going to prove somebody wrong. That level of confidence.

Speaker 2:

And this is why I told you that you are the definition of be great in their face, that this is why you are the poster child for be great in their face. And, kristen, you gave the perfect definition of why I do what I do, cause some people don't. They don't have it all every day. They maybe have 20%, 30% and they need somebody to give them that boost that they need to get to that 100. And people need to understand that it's okay to ask for help and you need somebody who believes in you more than you believe in yourself at times. You need that person, you need that and I'm so glad that y'all have each other and look what y'all made Like. Look what y'all did.

Speaker 3:

Yes, and look who we're doing a podcast with and look at what we're about to do with Destacon Girls. Let me tell y'all 2024. We're not, we're not playing and we are not anywhere where we know we can be Like. Our confidence collectively is more. It's bigger than us, it's bigger than it's just bigger than this whole conversation. Even like we and Aletheia, you are a important part of our generation and how we, as women, are getting to that level of I am gonna do this, I can do this, Even if I fail. I'm gonna talk about how I failed and I'm not gonna call it a failure. I learned a lesson. I learned how I wanna do better at it and I'm gonna go for it. And we wouldn't have that level of confidence and that thought process without women like you, people like you, like really being who you are for us and for yourself but for like it's ugh. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Just think about, think about when everybody gets to hear Aletheia at Destacon and just think about the ripple effects, not just on the men, not just on the men on their team members, on their children, on their bosses, Like this has to make again like additional benefits to it, which is great.

Speaker 3:

Oh, oh, oh yes, and I hope and pray that we have a slew of people in hearing this message and hearing this and thinking about maybe the roadblocks that they are putting up for their team or for the people in their life, like breaking down some of those barriers and rethinking about how you work together, how you treat your team members, how you help build other people within your organizations up to the level that like how I, just when you say ripple effect, yes, ma'am Like it is waves of yes, and this is, I feel, this conference for us. Aletheia is. You know, this is our second annual. We feel the virtue because it's virtual. We feel like people will loosen up a little bit and be able to truly collaborate and talk to each other. It takes that intimidation of having to like welcome to somebody that you don't know face to face Hi, how are you doing this? is it already strips you of some of that chameleon status? Like you can truly ask the questions you wanna ask. You can truly talk about the topics that you're afraid to talk about in other areas. Like we want this to be uncomfortably life changing for the group of people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yes, break through.

Speaker 3:

You come out of this thinking ma'am, ooh life, it is life changing.

Speaker 2:

I love personally and professionally. You have to be uncomfortable, like you have to be uncomfortable. Just think of how a pearl is made. That's such a great analogy. Like the way a pearl, like it, has to keep, and I know that it is uncomfortable, but look at what comes out in the end. Look at how every great thing is made, not just a pearl. Look at how a diamond is made. It's crushed. It's crushed and people do. We are. You have to look at yourself. I am a diamond. Yes, I've been crushed a million and one times, but all that question is gonna pay off Cause at the end, baby, I'm a diamond. Look at how you have to put fire. You have to burn it. You know how many times I've been burned in my life but, honey, I turned out golden. So you have to go through something to get to something. You have to go through it to get to it. And that's what we need to know and understand Everything that you, you have to go through something. It even says so in the Bible. It says, yeah, so I walk through the valley. It does not say that that's where we're going to stay. It says we're going to go through it and we're going to come out on the other side glowing like the bad bitches we are.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

That's because verse one, chapter eight, I love it. You do, yes, but I love that piece of it about going through it because, again, just just lipping it back around tourism, like can you know, covid, and natural disasters, and political situations, and I think it is it is something that's necessary for all of us to go through, to look at things a lot differently. So I love how the multiple applications, the layer nuances of this fall through, but I do have to ask you, speaking of going through, what's the big next for Alihia?

Speaker 2:

Oh, the big next for me. So let me tell you and you have, you have actually kick started my big next, believe it or not, because the plan for me in 2024, as much as I love what I do, teaching is my, teaching is what I do, but motivational speaking is my passion and it's my purpose. It's what I was put here to do and you're actually kick starting that Because I said that this is what I wanted to go into 2024. This is what I wanted, this is where I want, and I was like oh my God, here comes Jen.

Speaker 1:

And Jen heard you somewhere through, I'm there to fast you Crazy Kristi can tell you it's like a calling. I have been like you've been like she could do this and she could do that, like it felt like just talking to you has been a calling.

Speaker 2:

So I'm super excited and not a journey for you.

Speaker 1:

But I mean, hey, I don't feel bad either, from the Jennifer Hudson show to the Jennifer Barbie show.

Speaker 2:

It's still wild to me. It's still. It's still crazy to me. And if this is not a message for anybody watching this, anybody hearing this, all you have to do is be yourself and amazing things will happen. Never would I have ever thought that I would be on national TV, All because I was me, All because I stopped being with. Everybody told me I should be all because, okay, wait first, before I say what I want to say, I need to know what I can and cannot say on this pocket.

Speaker 1:

You say whatever you want, to say whatever you want.

Speaker 2:

All because I learned the power of FTP when, I learned the power of FTP. My life just changed, and FTP stands for fucking people.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I didn't mean it all. I'm good being me. It got me on national TV. So just imagine what being yourself being you got you your own company, you stepping away from what people told you that you should be. Saying you know what? Let me do what I want to be. Let me do what I wanted to, and, as women, let us do what we want to do.

Speaker 3:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

What you love. If you're not in a place where you love what you do, do what you love and amazing things are going to happen. You're going to be yourself and amazing things are just going to happen. You won't have to go looking for it, you don't. You won't have to hear people say what do you have to bring to the table? Bitch, I am the table. Yes, I am the table. So I mean you. I don't need to bring anything to you because I am, in fact, the table.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm a little baggage.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my gosh All night my whole calendar Look but we're so excited and we're so excited and I think it's going to be amazing. We're also, you know, shouting out a lot of small businesses were supporting during this Swag and giveaways gamification. So if you go to the easiest session, you get extra points so you can win body candles. We have lots of other fun things on there. So we are so, so pumped and so, so blessed. But I do want to ask I'm ready to how did you come up with your catchphrase, catch lines?

Speaker 2:

So I came up with this Because of my children, one in particular. So I used to allow people to bring me back to a place where I didn't want to be. I used to allow people to make me upset because I realized they didn't make me mad. I made me mad, I allow people to make me upset, I allow people to do things To get under my skin and I wouldn't let the moment be the moment and just feel that feeling and then like also that shouldn't just let it go. I just I kept it all day. So, yeah. So one day A coworker, as soon as I walked in the door, pissed me off and I was literally upset the entire day Because every time I looked at her it just got me even more upset. It just pissed me off even more Because I didn't sit with that and I didn't let the moment be the moment. I just kept it the entire day. When I came home, I just cut off the test. Avoid that. You know I had already done that. This w الشew shou ehj t? N. He could not wait to show me that he got an aid on this test. He could not wait. I allowed somebody to mess up my day and I didn't let the moment be the moment. When I walked in, I was still upset. He was like Mom, mom, look at. And I was like Jalen. Later on, just just just later, the look on my son's face was like I just rolled over his dog and I was like, oh my gosh, and I felt so bad and it's something that I couldn't fix because I've already done it. Yeah, so, because I allowed somebody to mess up my day, it trickled over to my family. So from then on I was like you know what? You cannot allow people to do this to you. You have to be intentional about having a good day on purpose. You have to be intentional about having a good day. You cannot allow anybody to mess up your day at all and if they do, let the moment be the moment, sit in it, but do not let a bad moment turn into a bad day, because not only does that affect you, it affects everyone, everybody else around you, and you can't fix that Right, because once it's done, it's done. So just think if I would have just let the moment be the moment and came home and was like, yes, son, you did awesome. That would have made his day. So now I affected his whole entire night. Yeah, that's why we need to have a good day on purpose, because when you allow people to take your peace, they're going to do it. When you allow people to steal your joy, they're going to do it. If they pitch you off, sit in it but let the moment pass. They continue having a good day on purpose, because we deserve to have a good day on purpose, because it not only affects us, it affects other people around us. That's where that came from, and be great in their face came from people that told me that I couldn't do it. It's from people that told me that because I stutter, I would never be able to do what I'm doing right now. So it's for my haters.

Speaker 1:

Hi y'all, but that's where the be great in their face came from.

Speaker 2:

Like I do not block my haters. I let my haters see me, because I learned the most amazing acronym for haters it's having anger towards everybody reaching success. Bitch, I'm successful, that's why you're successful with me. I'm successful. I'm on a level that you're not on. That's why you're mad at me and I receive your anger and let it feel me to even be greater, hi guys.

Speaker 1:

So Kristen, inspired me to quit blocking them and just let them see me win.

Speaker 3:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because you cannot slow down just because they can't catch up, right, right.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

What an incredible and inspired conversation, and I know our listeners are super excited about that, so I'm going to ask you to take us out with your cat.

Speaker 2:

So everybody is listening and watching right now. I need you to know that, no matter what you go through, do not let your current situation be your final destination. Know that you are everything and everything is you. Know that you are the shit, the whole shit and nothing but the shit. So go out there and be great in their face, but also be great in your own and, as always, have a good day out there.

Embracing Authenticity
Embracing Self-Acceptance and Overcoming Negative Thoughts
Beauty, Self-Perception, and Empowerment
Embracing Authenticity and Personal Development
Confidence and Support for Success
Choose to Have a Good Day